I'm back

I've realised something over this month that I've been away. Away, "doing the Edinburgh Festival", "creating new stuff", "developing" as an "artist". I've been trying to put all these different tags on it, but I know the truth. I am suffering from a shameful addiction to the Edinburgh Festival. 

I will do almost anything to facilitate being there. This year alone I have lied, borrowed money, made grand claims, had lunch with my ex-boss to get a loan, and even been in denial about doing it at all. "Hello, is that my bank, First Direct? Yes, please could I borrow some money? About £3 grand... No... it's.... not for the Edinburgh Festival, it's for... a holiday." They'll lend it to you if they think it's for a holiday.

Basically, I know all the tricks. Pretend you're going to be famous directly afterwards, offer them a stake in the show, borrow from 4 different people and don't tell them about each other. Let them think they're the only ones and it doesn't really cost that much. If they knew the extent of your problem, maybe some of them would stop you. But they don't. They are enablers. The bank, my ex-boss, my mum, the producers, my boyfriend. Enablers!!

But what of the "phenomenon" that was Exhibitionist? - you can link here to cool reviews from Fest and also Three Weeks. Thrilled with all this stuff about being "innovative" and "relevant", but next year I'm going to go for "funny".

In the meantime, I cannot afford to leave the house. Or buy food, or pay rent. That's the goddamn motherf*ckin genius of being an addict. If you've had a similar experience, and want to try and face up to what a few years of the Edinburgh Festival has done to you, or maybe you're living with someone who cannot control his or her Fringe shows - get in touch.